i purposely went "MIA" on wed,to see whether do you care...but you never SMS nor call me.... :(

saw your MSN display msg "didn't know loving someone is so tiring...." and i thought you have someone on your mind.so.... because of this,i strained my brain thinking and thinking...
thus i have decided to SMS you to ask about it...so that i would try to give you up if what you have said is true.

but phew....you said no one. so i decided to carry on loving you!

i just realised that i am in your notify list yesterday!!! really happy! but am i the only one? ?_?

i am not happy whenever you are moody,and you don't even know why...i really want to be your confidant...
it has been long enough ever since we had a relaxing chat..

hope your throat recovers in no time as you are leaving for aussie tonight....
really hope to receive your surprise call today before you left SG.

i will miss you badly for the next 8 days...hope to see you online when you are in aussie.
*hugs and kisses*

just when i thought you thought that von mei and i were together,i bothered to explain to you when i saw you online earlier on.but you told me i don't have to as we are just friends.my heart sunk when i read that,just when i thought you have the special feeling toward me despite the way you treat me differently from others.you gave me false hopes...

i have a very low self-esteem,i'd try not to PM you from now on whenever i see you.i will not ever press on you again.

you don't have to explain anymore,i got what you mean.it was just my wishful thinking afterall.

just weighed myself and i lost a few kilos! i am targetting to reach 100kg end of the month.(jaws dropped huh?)
all thanks to having a determination of eating just a half bowl of rice, baked beans & vegetables!


i blamed myself for not saving up money when i was young,i blamed myself for spending so much money on gadgets....i blamed myself for not cherishing the job in DHL well...blaming myself for having so much of debts to clear. lastly....blaming myself for not giving my mum a comfy life.

i took everything for granted...i really want to change.i know i deserve alot of criticism from all of you who are reading these, pls go ahead...


initially when you told me you were a manager,i thought of stop chatting with you (a matter of ego)...i mentioned this to you before,you said i was silly.upon asking,you told me that you wouldn't mind your bf earning lesser.

my imagination ran wild....was thinking if one day we are together,how would you tell your friends/relatives what i work as?(don't think i would be a manager) especially when i am earning much lower... yeah pisceans tend to think too much.

as i am having cash flow problem,you were the last person i thought of for borrowing money,but i really don't wish to ask you that because i don't want our friendship to involve money matters especially you are the girl i love.but i did imagined if i ask you for it,would you reject me?i told myself if you rejected me,it simply means you don't trust me...so it's better not to ask at all.

but after some thoughts,it's best to clear my debts before i get into a r/s.don't think any girl would wants her guy to have unsettled debts.

seriously,putting profession aside,i think our personalities are quite matched though i am more introvert.i took you as my confidant since the day you told me to say out whatever i am unhappy with you,etc.and that was like in april. lol

all these months,i felt touched when you said "pm me if you are neglected".... "now you have all my attention"..."how i wish i am in SK,so i can bring food over"...."i really like chatting with you as it makes me comfortable".... "where shall we go on our first date?" ,just to name a few. :)
don't know can you still recall it.

yesterday night you went offline without bidding...so sad! :(
will you call me later? *guess guess guess*

went to the temple this morning with mum,was waiting for you to SMS or call me up...but you never.i thought of SMS you,but i think you were very busy then and guess....you won't reply probably.

von mei urged me to go for the gathering at bugis' TCC, rejected her but in the end,i went.got to meet up with 5 new IRC friends,especially GuRu who used to be my kaki for viwawa daidee.a very friendly and humorous guy,he's very nice too. :)

ended up we settled our dinner at aijisen ramen,von mei gave me most of her portion as she couldn't finished it.was rather paiseh as she said she paid for it,though i told her i would pay her back.
it was a sin....ate 4 slices of chicken w/o skin *nice*, had a bowl of rice and von mei's portion of ramen.but not too bad....i would have ended up taken 2 bowls of rice if i am not on diet. :p

after that,von mei & i went separate ways.ended myself in clarke quay,felt like calling you up to meet since you were around the area,but changed my mind as i have told you i will wait till the day you date me out. :)

went in and out of my room for TV and finally i received your PM,it really made my day though it was just a simple "hi" & ":)" without much chatting between us....

thought you were not going to PM me anymore....the wait was worth it.. :)

8 more days before you going oversea.
i really miss you and your voice. :(

4 months+ never update.

inbetween this period,i got to know a nice lady from irc.and whenever she is online,she will PM me.but due to some reasons, we do not chat as much as last time.maybe because she is busy at work or maybe i am just too sensitive.

yes, i admit that i like her.and she did asked me not to press on her upon me asking her does she like me.she ever told me i am indifferent from others that is why she treated me differently.i don't know whether is she leading me on by treating me so nice...we are the closiest in the virtual world though we have yet to meet.
i even plucked up courage to draft out a love letter for her.
but all she said was a "thank you".i wanted to ask her does she feel touch,but changed my mind as i don't want to stress her.

ever since she joined in a particular channel,she is well liked by everyone..while i did something wrong which a few of them condemned me to a corner.i did realised my mistake and apologised,but it was too late.

she used to give me surprise call almost everyday,but she has stopped doing that since last week.maybe she is busy and somemore,she has to bring her dog pigi to the vet for operation today.hope pigi goes through it as he has been with her for 14 yrs!

i really missed those days when she used to take the initiative to msg me once she was on irc.though she was quiet,i always tried to look for topic to chat.

of course i hope she accepts me one day.i would not mind waiting for her to commit in a new r/s as long as she likes me the same way i do.but she told me she does not know whether she likes me,and my guessing is....no.

if you happen to read and you're the girl i like,i want to let you know that,even just a very short SMS from you,makes my day.
i am willing to make you smile everyday.and...willing to wait for you till you are ready for a brand new r/s,be it months or years.