season finale:
i have alot of things to write,but i am not good in expressing out myself well.nevertheless,i'd give it a try.
do you agree that the bonding between human beings are hard to maintain?would you forgive your good friend if they didn't meant to hurt your pride?despite that they even apologised to you?wouldn't your heart be soften?
sigh...don't wish to elaborate more about it.
it's very sad to see someone close left you in this world.the joy and memories you had together.it was fate that brought 2 of you to be kins. memories can only be buried in your heart.
i am a very emotional person,i tend to think of sad things when i'm lonely,or come across sad drama on TV,my eyes will tear.
english movie like "forrest gump",really touched my heart..
in order to get gump into the school,his mum had an affair with the principle...
and it made me cried when his mother passed away due to cancer...leaving him all alone in a big house.and his wife left him too in the end.
strongly recommended movie.
i can't imagine the day i am left alone when my mum leaves me despite i know that it's a matter of time.
i blame myself for not giving her a good life,blame myself for failing to resist the temptation of gadget,and ended up with a chuck of bills.
i remember when i was 18,my mum asked me do i want a set of computer.she couldn't afford it that time,and ended up she pawned her jewelleries in order to get me a PC.
she thought i would make good use of it.
i let her down....the PC she got for me ended up discarded 2 yrs ago after i got myself another new PC.i really feeling very bad now....i told her i would return her the money though i have owed her so many years already.
while i am typing out all these, my tears rolled...
i really feel like hugging her now...i really cherish my mum though i always talk back at her...
it was all my fault that she does not have a comfy life...
and still slogged her life working as a cashier...and delivering yakult as part time....
i admit that i am very useless,i don't even have personal savings as i always spent money on gadgets...
and always made her upset for using the computer so late everyday....
i did asked my mum before,"would we be together even after our death?"
i don't want to lose her even after we died.i really don't wish to....
i owe my mum too many already....
the last time i flipped through my childhood pics was 2 yrs ago...when my mum was still at my current age,i could see from her eyes that she was happy of giving birth to me...she doted me alot and furthermore,i am the only child.
my mum is a very kindhearted and compassionate lady..though she is stubborn at times.
she is the best mother in my heart,though we quarrelled sometimes over me not working and slacking at home all these months.
she will make sure i eat the medicine when i am sick,make sure i have something to eat when she is working for the whole 14 hours.
she'd do anything for me..i can't lose her and i can't afford to.
i'd cherish her even more from now..
i let her down....i never completed the courses in ITE after my mum paid everything for it,the uniforms,the books.i dropped out.
and i swear that i will start to give her monthly allowance once i have cleared all my outstandings.
my mum always wants me to be a devoted buddhist by eating vegetarian, sustain from meat.
she just came in to sweep my floor,i called her and i hugged her as usual...she asked me to be hardworking...i then told her i promise her i will give her allowance after i settled my bills.
i told her i realised my mistake while i was hugging her....she then told me,"son,i'm glad that you realised your mistake.i need you to give me allowance"
i told her it was all but my greediness which caused me to end up with so much of bills.my mum then said it was not my greediness,but the temptation to enjoy life.
i'm not a mummy's boy,i don't heed my mum's advice most of the time.but deep inside,i really cherish her.
i am not a high earner,but i told myself,if my take home pay is 1.5k a month,i will try to save up 1k.
i know many of you feel that i deserved to be scolded,criticised...
i do.please do not hold back...
Tuesday, October 7
i am going to categorise 2 parts of my entries today.
1st season:
woke up by an SMS at 620am,it was a keen buyer for my solvil titus watch.
1st season:
woke up by an SMS at 620am,it was a keen buyer for my solvil titus watch.
washed my teeth, took a bath, joined the working class people in the train and met the buyer at farrer park MRT station.
i wanted to sell at $200,we closed the deal at $100 as there are obvious scratches on the strap despite i just bought it on 23rd sep.
loss: $150.
took train back to hougang,heard from mum that there's a vegetarian stall selling nice vegetarian food.was searching for the block, have had a hard time looking for it.ended up i walked 300 m towards the block from the subsequent block number.i think something is wrong with the arrangement of blocks. ZzzzzzZzzz
300 metres away. machiam like a shooting range LOL.
tasted the food,it wasn't as tasty as the last time i have tried.
hopefully everything turns out well at work tmr.
Monday, October 6
supposed to report at CMPB for facing a charge, excused myself with MC as i was having a slight fever at 37.2 degree.
walked to tampines CPF bldg (recruit express) from tampines polyclinic to sign the appointment letter/contract,and starting work on wed. i'm under a year contract,hopefully everything turns out smoothly as i have alot of enormous bills to clear.
wed shall be my new start.
took MRT to town area and was caught in surprise that someone well dressed with a bag on his back,came over and talked to me..first look i thought he was some MRT staff,and when he was approaching me,i looked at his left pocket with his namecard or something hung on it.and realised that he's a christian.
i thought he was asking me for directions when i was indulging myself with music.took off my earphones ,can't remember what did he ask me,but he was introducing himself with a namecard,it's more like a church namecard...
came to know that he's actually a mongolian and he's been here for a month.
they were heading to newton.
capital of mongolia: Ulaanbaatar
mongolian mountails from ger camp
never knew that mongolia is cold even in the day time.and never knew that mongolia is covered by only 20% of desert when i thought it was 80%.
i did told him that he's very friendly as he can just chat up with anyone whom he does not know at all in a cabin.he commented that i'm friendly too.
i begun to ask him questions like his age,his purpose of coming here,where he stays,etc.
in fact, most of us singaporeans can't be bothered to talk to a stranger in this case,they would probably shun him away or stay away from him.don't you agree?unless they are friendly too.
we casual chat for like 10 mins?i sensed that some passengers were looking at us,it was understood as this friendly stranger approached me out of sudden and ended up a casual chat...
me: "so how old are you?"
him: "23"
me: "oh.."
him: "you?"
me: "guess?"
him: "23?"
me: "28"
him: "you look very young"
aww... different people really have different views. lol
no wait,it wasn't really a casual chat.he introduced me the religion of christianity,he mentioned about jesus..
he was with his friend who is an american,both dressed the same.
this was how i felt in my heart when i initially thought that the ang moh was going to join in the persuasion.
*disclaimer*
i am not a racist,each of us has a religion.and i'm a buddhist though i claimed myself as a free thinker.if you feel offended, i hereby apologise.
he immediately took out a book on jesus from his bag,i told him "never mind,don't bother to." but he said in mandarin "mei guan xi (it's ok)".oh ya,we were conversing in english.
as i do not wish to see him wasting his effort,i told him that i'm a buddhist and kindly said that no matter how he tries to pursuade me to believe in christianity ,i'd not change my mind.
i put back the card which he gave me, into his left pocket (you may think i was rude),and said in a very friendly tone while smiling, "even if you gave it to me,it is of no use.you should keep it."
i even clarified my stand,asking him not to feel offended. he smiled at me.
this was the similar expression when i was smiling.
and i can't remember what he have said,but at least he "auto" abit,he offered a handshake with me twice before he walked away.
i think i have handled this occurance in a nice manner,i was friendly and chatty all the way.with our eyes keeping in contact (as a form of respect),never looked away when he was talking.
somehow,it gained my confidence talking to a foreigner, in english.
of course,i was speaking in appropriate english language.not singlish.
and i carried on indulging in my music after that.
song for the day: Vanessa Williams - stranger's eyes
walked to tampines CPF bldg (recruit express) from tampines polyclinic to sign the appointment letter/contract,and starting work on wed. i'm under a year contract,hopefully everything turns out smoothly as i have alot of enormous bills to clear.
wed shall be my new start.
took MRT to town area and was caught in surprise that someone well dressed with a bag on his back,came over and talked to me..first look i thought he was some MRT staff,and when he was approaching me,i looked at his left pocket with his namecard or something hung on it.and realised that he's a christian.
i thought he was asking me for directions when i was indulging myself with music.took off my earphones ,can't remember what did he ask me,but he was introducing himself with a namecard,it's more like a church namecard...
came to know that he's actually a mongolian and he's been here for a month.
they were heading to newton.
capital of mongolia: Ulaanbaatar
mongolian mountails from ger camp
never knew that mongolia is cold even in the day time.and never knew that mongolia is covered by only 20% of desert when i thought it was 80%.
i did told him that he's very friendly as he can just chat up with anyone whom he does not know at all in a cabin.he commented that i'm friendly too.
i begun to ask him questions like his age,his purpose of coming here,where he stays,etc.
in fact, most of us singaporeans can't be bothered to talk to a stranger in this case,they would probably shun him away or stay away from him.don't you agree?unless they are friendly too.
we casual chat for like 10 mins?i sensed that some passengers were looking at us,it was understood as this friendly stranger approached me out of sudden and ended up a casual chat...
me: "so how old are you?"
him: "23"
me: "oh.."
him: "you?"
me: "guess?"
him: "23?"
me: "28"
him: "you look very young"
aww... different people really have different views. lol
no wait,it wasn't really a casual chat.he introduced me the religion of christianity,he mentioned about jesus..
he was with his friend who is an american,both dressed the same.
this was how i felt in my heart when i initially thought that the ang moh was going to join in the persuasion.
*disclaimer*
i am not a racist,each of us has a religion.and i'm a buddhist though i claimed myself as a free thinker.if you feel offended, i hereby apologise.
he immediately took out a book on jesus from his bag,i told him "never mind,don't bother to." but he said in mandarin "mei guan xi (it's ok)".oh ya,we were conversing in english.
as i do not wish to see him wasting his effort,i told him that i'm a buddhist and kindly said that no matter how he tries to pursuade me to believe in christianity ,i'd not change my mind.
i put back the card which he gave me, into his left pocket (you may think i was rude),and said in a very friendly tone while smiling, "even if you gave it to me,it is of no use.you should keep it."
i even clarified my stand,asking him not to feel offended. he smiled at me.
this was the similar expression when i was smiling.
and i can't remember what he have said,but at least he "auto" abit,he offered a handshake with me twice before he walked away.
i think i have handled this occurance in a nice manner,i was friendly and chatty all the way.with our eyes keeping in contact (as a form of respect),never looked away when he was talking.
somehow,it gained my confidence talking to a foreigner, in english.
of course,i was speaking in appropriate english language.not singlish.
and i carried on indulging in my music after that.
song for the day: Vanessa Williams - stranger's eyes
Sunday, October 5
after so long of no contact, was very very surprised that joyce mei MSN me.
frankly, i deleted her on my MSN as we didn't chat much.having to say that,i'm feeling
guilty.
but i shall not do that again, and stick her in my contact list,this i promise. :D
though we have known each other on IRC since 2002, we have yet to meet up.
being one of my regular downloaders,she used to getting mp3 from me during the good old days.
i was surprised then as a 17 yr old girl knows how to appreciate those chinese oldies in the early 90s.as a good old server,i was glad that my collection was somehow able to meet her demands. lol
and she was using 56k dialup.... hahaha.golden connection.
oh ya,she does not listen to english songs lol.
joyce, samcheng & i used to conf over the phone sometimes...those were the golden days.
i even mistook my 1st ex as joyce mei,because of their similar voice.omg.that was in 2003...when i was doing medical duty at the med ctr.
i'm very happy that she has ROM and her wedding is in dec,they are going to shift into their love nest in bukit panjang.awww.... how sweet it would be!
initially when they just got together,my feeling told me that 2 of them would last very long,it's no surprise even if they are together till old.
remember the day when her bf just enlisted,joyce called me as she was very worried sick that he never called nor SMS her after his field camp. had a hard time to coax her as she was crying terribily. lol those days were really reminiscing. :p
going to tag her to my blog.check her out!
we shall meet one day together as 6 yrs of friendship is a big deal over the virtual world!!!
joyce,i know i still owe you something.... blue roses. hahahaha...you wait ok?be good,i will give
it to you one day. :X
and i'm very appreciated that you still remember me as your kor.i also not bad ok,i remember your birthdate, your surname & chinese name.tell me how many people can remember those?! =X
whenever i came across angela zhang,her name reminds me of you,because of "han".
now then she reminded me, i used to call her "han mei mei" omg....how could i forgot this!!!!!!
stay in touch yeah?!
frankly, i deleted her on my MSN as we didn't chat much.having to say that,i'm feeling
guilty.
but i shall not do that again, and stick her in my contact list,this i promise. :D
though we have known each other on IRC since 2002, we have yet to meet up.
being one of my regular downloaders,she used to getting mp3 from me during the good old days.
i was surprised then as a 17 yr old girl knows how to appreciate those chinese oldies in the early 90s.as a good old server,i was glad that my collection was somehow able to meet her demands. lol
and she was using 56k dialup.... hahaha.golden connection.
oh ya,she does not listen to english songs lol.
joyce, samcheng & i used to conf over the phone sometimes...those were the golden days.
i even mistook my 1st ex as joyce mei,because of their similar voice.omg.that was in 2003...when i was doing medical duty at the med ctr.
i'm very happy that she has ROM and her wedding is in dec,they are going to shift into their love nest in bukit panjang.awww.... how sweet it would be!
initially when they just got together,my feeling told me that 2 of them would last very long,it's no surprise even if they are together till old.
remember the day when her bf just enlisted,joyce called me as she was very worried sick that he never called nor SMS her after his field camp. had a hard time to coax her as she was crying terribily. lol those days were really reminiscing. :p
going to tag her to my blog.check her out!
we shall meet one day together as 6 yrs of friendship is a big deal over the virtual world!!!
joyce,i know i still owe you something.... blue roses. hahahaha...you wait ok?be good,i will give
it to you one day. :X
and i'm very appreciated that you still remember me as your kor.i also not bad ok,i remember your birthdate, your surname & chinese name.tell me how many people can remember those?! =X
whenever i came across angela zhang,her name reminds me of you,because of "han".
now then she reminded me, i used to call her "han mei mei" omg....how could i forgot this!!!!!!
stay in touch yeah?!
Saturday, October 4
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